Getting close...

David's first birthday is fast approaching.  We're celebrating four days early with friends and family, then we'll be having a family day, just the three of us on his actual birthday.

Even talking about it puts a knot in my stomach.

I'm not ready for this but there's no way to stop it.  He's going to turn one whether I like it or not.  I think I'm grieving his infancy.  The last year has meant so much to me, and I know I'm going to enjoy the next year too, but there's just something about this first year of being a mom... having my little man... so tiny in my arms... I'm so going to miss these moments.

I think the grieving is making me crazy and wanting another baby now... I need to hold myself back from this because I don't think I could handle a newborn and a toddler at the same time.  But if it were to happen I would take the challenge.  Though I doubt it would happen.  Jeffry has made it clear that he doesn't want another one for a little while.  So I will just baby my new little niece or nephew that is on the way, due in January.  That should help I think.

How have you mom's out there dealt with the change from infant to toddler?  Cause it is breaking my heart right now and I can't seem to really  make myself feel better.