I'll take that milk to go please...

This past week has been a rough when it comes to sleeping patterns.

Its so weird!! He'll be sleeping good and through the night for 5-6 days then BAM! out of no where he'll be screaming every morning around 3am for food... (sometimes its just cause he rolled on his stomach and is too tired to roll back.) But usually it's for food. I usually let him cry for a couple minutes and sometimes he'll just fall back asleep, but my Aunt Chris just got here last night and is sleeping in the room next to the nursery, so I am frantic about keeping him happy and quiet at night. Not everyone has to lose out on sleep like I do! ;)

I was up 3 times this morning... twice for rolling on the tummy, and once for the feeding... /sigh

HELP!!!

I'm strongly considering Enfamil restful sleep formula to see if that helps him sleep through the night. I've never EVER given him formula... but I'm starting to get desperate! A friend of mine said her son really slept well with it, so I'm thinking... Maybe?

I've tried feeding right before bed time, cereal before bed time... BOTH right before bed time... and that usually just gave him gas... or a tummy ache, so we don't do that any more.

Other than the sleeping problem, David has been doing very well... almost got crawling down... he's gotten one knee forward so far, but Mr. Balance always throws him off. He's also gotten to experience more of the food groups, as well as learning to play with finger foods... he still doesn't have that down yet. He did manage to get one puff into his mouth yesterday for the first time. But I had to put it between his thumb and index finger for him to get him to do it. heh.

I wish I had a picture to upload with this post... this week was too much of a drain for me to even consider picking up my camera.

Baby, coffee, cleaning, laundry, Baby, cleaning, Baby, Baby, Baby, (food somewhere in the mix of things), oh and did I say baby? Jeff let me sleep in a bit this morning, but it was pretty restless for me. So today is a tired day for me, but at least its the weekend and I have the family here if I need a break. Thank GOD for that! :)

I hope you all have a great weekend!! Soak in some sunshine for me if you have any where you're at... cause it looks like another dreary day here in Minnesota. How I miss the sun.

Graffiti... what fun!

Every once and awhile I get into the mood to have some fun with Facebook's App. Graffiti.

Recently I found out that Jelly Belly is having a Graffiti contest, top 150 get free jelly beans... so I was like... heck yeah!!  So I did my first entry last night... was super fun, though I could of done better.  I think it was because it was bed time... but yeah... I just felt like sharing. :)

Here's a link to the actual Jelly Belly design.


Here's the reply... though it doesn't look as good since it doesn't show the jelly belly cut out over the drawing.

Now I'm brainstorming entry #2. :)
Any ideas that would make a good jelly belly design?  I was thinking drawing popcorn in one since I love that flavor. :)

I'm open to suggestions! :)

Quick visit to the outdoors...

We decided to take Cody (my in law's dog) outside for a bit of running, since Jeff Sr. can't be up on his feet.
I thought it would be a great idea to bring David out with us, at least for a few minutes.  He doesn't know much of outside since he was a newborn when I last had him out in good weather... I just stayed in most of the winter, and he didn't much care for the snow.

Well, he liked looking at things, but he did NOT like the wind... he clenches his mouth shut and grunts every time it blew in his face.

But it's good for him to get outside. :)

David doesn't much care for his jacket.

(think of Christmas Story... "I can't put my ARMS down!")

But he sure does love his daddy!

Trying out those fun little shoes.

SO fun!!!

Daddy fixing his fun little Jester hat momma made him. :)

The rare and elusive Momma and baby picture. ;)

God I love him. :)

and a quick impromptu family portrait... daddy was not amused... and David?  Well, I think he was off in his own little baby world at the time.  He he, he is such a cutie.

Well, tonight is our last night at Jeff's parents house.  I love being here, but after being away from home for a week, with only a weekends worth of clothing that I've cycled through the wash many times... I'm ready to go home.  I'm excited to sleep in my own bed, sit in my spot on the comfy couch with my knitting projects while David plays on the floor... and I'm sure David is home sick for the nursery he so dearly loves.  Not to mention his Grandma Liz and Grandpa Steve are missing him big.  So even though I love it up north... I'm glad to be going back to the cities.  Next time I write, I'll be on my couch with a hot cup of coffee, surrounded by yarn, and a smiling baby face peaking at me from around his play mat.

Have a great night, and a wonderful weekend. :)

Reunited!

I had to use Grandma's camera cause my camera battery died.

Cutest thing I ever did see... the smile on my boys face as he studied his father's face. The pure joy beaming off of him after seeing his daddy for the first time after a whole week apart. He smiled, studied, touched his face gently, then SQUEALED with joy...

You think that would be it, but no... it gets cuter...

With every word that Jeffry spoke to him... he would start to giggle and laugh and squeal... he hadn't really laughed all week... I thought I was gonna lose it with how sweet and loving that was.

Jeff said he was surprised by his reaction... I asked why, because I knew David would be excited to see him... he just didn't expect David to care that much I guess... but that boy LOVES his daddy!!! I think this experience really hit Jeff... it was so sweet, I wish I had caught it on video. :)

My heart is all warm and melty right now. :3

Jeff brought my battery charger and card reader, so I'm excited to take some more pictures this weekend. :)

Before Jeff got here I was cleaning up after making David's dinner...

You have to know first that Grandma is always yelling at Daddy about putting things on David's head...

so what does Grandma do?

But he loved it....
And here is his St. Patrick's Day picture... my little 7 month old baby boy... with the luck of the Irish... or at least a little bit of Irish... since I'm only a quarter... but yeah. What a cutie he is.

(Showin' off those new teeth too!)

Well I'm gonna go get me so hugs and snuggles from Jeffy... and sit and watch the loving gaze of my son to his father... sooo sooo sooo very sweet I could eat it all up in seconds. :)

Quick Prayer Request...

My dear friend Jackie/Bavy's little one month old son has been in the hospital for the past few days with RSV. She has been giving updates on him which have been "up and down days"... they're hoping to go home Saturday.

Please pray that his fever breaks, he stabilizes and can go home healthy.

Love love love to you and the family Bavy sweetie, my thoughts and healing prayers are heading your way!

Happy ROARing Friday

Last night was rough... David woke and would NOT go back to sleep for two hours... no idea why. He wouldn't let me put him down, so I just held him and rocked him, kissed his precious head, and prayed for sleep. When he did finally sleep, what ever the issue was went away and he woke up around 7 for his breakfast and was his usual perky self. I received his enormous "GOOD MORNING MOMMA" smile, along with some squeaks and squeals, and yummy raspberry kisses. No matter how tired I am, he makes me wake up and smile... I just can't frown at that cute little face... which I have to learn to control when he's actually doing something I don't want him doing... but its so hard, cause he always smiles that heart melting smile at me.

(Must learn to say no... must learn to say no... MUST learn to say no.)

This morning I had him on his floor mat and got myself on my hands and knees and showed him how to crawl. He's been getting so close to getting those cherub legs underneath him ... so Grandma George came over and helped hold him up enough to balance and we practiced the crawling method. He seems really excited at this idea... and I'm scared out of my mind. I have this list my mind is going through every second of every day of what needs to be done to baby proof my parents basement... which I can't see happening to how I feel it needs to be done... but whatever. Hopefully Jeff and I will find "the house" soon... so I can feel at peace with the environment I put him in.

Speaking of house hunting, I'm feeling so overwhelmed... we almost had one... but had to back out of it after the inspection... then were turned down by two for better offers... I'm getting so drained at this experience... but I don't want to just get any house... I want OUR house, one that feels like home... that's good for a growing family. I know we'll find one... but it just seems like it'll never happen. Jeff is a trooper at the house hunting when I get too overwhelmed and depressed about it... when I give up, he keeps going on and introduces new homes for me to potentially fall in love with.

I'm missing light... so that's something I'm really looking for in our future home... lots and lots of natural light, which my parents house lacks... mind you, I love them and I love the house, but it's not ours, it is not our family home... I need space to move and live and create...

Okay, house hunt rant ... OVER.

Back on topic...

Friday!

Jeff will be on his way up in just a few hours. I'm so excited!!!! We've been letting David see him via web cam, but David doesn't quite know what's going on, and usually just wants to smash the keyboard.... which is SO cute to watch, but dangerous for the laptop. (He's notorious for locking up computers.)

I'm missing my knitting projects... and my art supplies... I finally got an urge to draw... and of course that happens when I don't have anything with me but a sketch book, pen and pencil.

Kelle Hampton's photos are so inspiring... I couldn't help but sketch a few of them... when I get home I'm hoping to do a few of the sketches as water color or colored pencil, not sure yet. Hopefully she won't mind. :) I've always been inspired by photography. That's why I got into myself... though I'm new to portrait work. I used to only do wildlife/nature and such.

(RIP my sweet Bunny Bunny)

Sooo babies and people and stuff are still kind of new to me... but I enjoy it... though I still prefer to do outdoor photos... cause I love the light. I wish I had a studio set up. Someday... someday...

So originally I started photography so I could get my own reference photos for portraits like this...

or like

I guess I fell in love with my camera... :)

Well... I'm gonna shush myself ... cause I'm "rambling" as my husband would tell me...

So I hope you all have a good "ROARing" Friday... and enjoy the weekend. :)

I hope the snow stops here... I was really starting to enjoy the sun...

So those of you who have sunny warm weather right now... soak some of it in for me. :)

Love!

P.S.

Have I mentioned I'm horribly A.D.D and ramble? haha. Thanks for putting up with me and my sudden topic changes. ;)

Husband withdrawal...

Well its almost the end of the week, meaning my husband Jeff will be here tomorrow night... I have been slowly becoming a lonely lump of sad unloved goop... when I haven't been being "Mommy" I've been sitting with my laptop chatting with Jeffry on msn, or sitting on the couch wishing for a hug... and when I say wishing, I mean "eyes shut tight wishing with every inch of your body, mind and soul" wishing...

I've always been a very physical person. I THRIVE on hugs and cuddles and love. Just one week without his loving hugs and little touches of affection have put me in a funk. I don't even want to think about what I would be like if we were away from each other for a MONTH!

To make up for some of it, David has been my snuggle bear during his afternoon naps and evening naps... sometimes in the middle of the night when he wakes up crying... I love sleeping with him, but I don't really sleep... I just get a neck and shoulder cramp while he sleeps soundly, taking up most of the bed. But I still love it... feeling him next to me... curled into my curves. God I love him so much.

Any way... David has a new hobby

Makes me laugh every time I watch it... I think I might be stealing this bouncy from Grandma George... I don't know if David could amuse himself at home with out it. He LOVES it...

Took him a day to figure it out, but as soon as he did, he became the cutest little 7 month old frog baby I've ever seen. Oh, by the way, did I mention that St. Patrick's Day was his 7 month birthday? Yesterday my little man turned 7 months old... still brings tears to my eyes every month he hits the 17th. I know I'll be saying this for the rest of my life, but... I can't believe my little man is already 7 months old... (I can hear myself saying, "I can't believe my little man is 32 years old".) Goes by too fast I tell ya.

He's going through this phase I can't quite figure out though... Its like the mommy phase, but I make him cry? Well... only when he's really tired... but otherwise as soon as he sees me he starts to fuss for me... he's better after I pick him up, IF I pick him up... usually if I leave the room he goes back to what he was doing... it makes it hard to get things done.

Oh! And good news... my mother in law's camera cord worked with my Nikon, so I was able to get some pictures off my camera from this week. Not from yesterday, cause my battery died... (sad panda)... but either way, pictures are pictures!

I will upload more later when I have a bit more time to go through the pictures. I still have to do a post about his day with his Aunts! Which was quite the day for him.

Keep praying for a quick healing for Grandpa Jeff. He is starting to get restless having to sit in that green chair all day and night. They say he'll be out of work for 4 weeks... for sure... so lets hope after that he'll be healed enough to get back to things so he doesn't go too stir crazy.

Love!

Poor Grandpa

Grandpa Jeff came home yesterday from the hospital, which is nice cause it has to be more comfortable being in your own home then the hospital.

Jeffry left today to go back down to the cities, while I decided to stay here and help with Jeff Sr.'s first week home after having surgery to mend his shattered tibia and fibula. This is our first break from each other since before David was born... so it's gonna be hard for the two of us. Jeff is surely going to miss David's smiling face every day when he gets home from work... the daddy time he gets in the evenings... the "grrs" and the "dadas". I'm gonna miss having his warmth at night, feeling him next to me makes me feel safe... yeah, this is gonna be tough. But at least I have Grandma here to help with David, cause she sure doesn't' mind helping out with him. ;)

Any way, I'm just sticking around this week so one of us can always be with Jeff Sr. at all times in case he needs something... at least till he gets comfortable getting around with his walker.

Jeffry will come back up on Friday to spend the weekend, then we'll both go back home on Sunday.

Unfortunately I forgot my card reader, so I won't have any cute pictures to upload till next weekend... this makes me sad. :( :( :( I have so many to share!!

Any way, I must go and put the little rug rat to bed.

Sweet dreams my friends.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Poor Grandpa Jeff!

I was hoping to update with some new pictures of David from his visit with his Great Aunts, but something has come up, and I've found I don't have time to get the pictures in order do to this happening...

My poor dear father in law Jeff Sr. fell at work today and was rushed to the hospital. Turns out he shattered his tibia. They decided to wait till tomorrow to do surgery because the doctor wanted the entire team there. So it'll be a long drugged out night for PaPa.

Jeff and I decided we'll be leaving tomorrow after Jeff gets done with work to stay the weekend with his parents.

David has a healing smile, so I think it'll be good for him to see his "PaPa" and help make him feel better.

I'm asking for prayers for a quick and easy recovery.
Thank you all.
Love!

The thing about toes...

"[He] resumed contemplation of his toes. These, to his never-failing and delighted surprise, continued to be ten in number, no matter how suddenly and without warning he descended upon them; his startled cataloguing of the suspicious members constituted at present his chief employment, and the subsequent deep breath of... relief on finding that all was well and not one of them had escaped his vigilance was one of the joys of his parents." - Josephine Daskam, The Memoirs of a Baby (1904)

I love sitting here watching my son interact with his toes... out of all the toys and objects around him, he perfers his feet.  The sounds of joy and pure happiness when he gets that first sock off just melts my heart, and no matter how my day is going, he gets a smile from the ashes of my frowns.

You just can't NOT smile when he obsesses over those cute tasty little feet.

After awhile, I too have to join him and see what it so fun about his feet... exploring his tiny little toes, feeling them wrap around my fingers as he flexes them and wiggles them, all the while with a huge grin on his face.  Then just for fun, I have to give them a taste, so I kisses them toe by toe, then the soles.  That really gets him squeeling.  Mmm nothing like baby toes. :)

Oh! to be a child again... the simple joys... makes me feel like I remember what it was to be like a infant child... though I think I'm mistakened... I really don't think I remember anything any more... now its all just fiction in my mind.  Telling stories back and forth in baby talk to David... he tells stories back... while we share the sweet baby smells and taste of his cute, sweet, tasty little feet.

Its nice to pretend...

C-section blues...

"When you were born I held you wet and unfolding, like a butterfly newly born from the chrysalis of my body." - Joy Harjo, "Rainy Dawn," In Mad Love and War (1990)

There... there is a quote I painfully read. My heart aches and bleeds feelings of regret and jealously towards those who can relate to them.


I can taste them on the tip of my tongue, but know I will (probably) never truly know the full flavor of each poetic word...


Lately I've been obsessing over baby shows. Watching the new moms embrace their new, fresh, sweet babies into their open arms, tears staining their faces... breathing each other in at that first moment... that moment where the baby emerges and the next thing you know it they're resting on your chest. 9 months of waiting and you finally get to hold that gentle little soul that has been your company day in and day out every single day for 40 or so weeks.


This obsession is not a good one for me, but I can't seem to pull myself away from watching... I envy them... I WANT that... that moment... the moment I missed. It breaks my heart to even think about now.


Yes, I understand that if I hadn't had the c-section, David would never of made it... and his safety is all that matters to me... but there's still this empty place inside of me where that moment was meant to go. That treasured moment most mom's get to have. I have found myself remembering when my niece was born 2 years ago, and feeling envy now at how smoothly her birth went... how beautiful that moment was for my sister in law and my brother... watching her enter this world and celebrating it.

Envy...
Jealousy...
Heartbreak...

I keep reminding myself I didn't have a choice... and I feel like that should be good enough to make the pain go away... but it doesn't. All I can think about is when I saw them take him away... I only got to look at him... brush my fingers on the top of his head... and then "poof" he was gone... my hopes and dreams of holding him vanished for the next 3-4 hours while I was being stitched back up and put into recovery. The only way I kept myself sane was to talk to every nurse or doctor that came by about how excited I was to finally hold him... "How much longer till I can see him?" "is it time yet?" they would come back and tell me I had to be able to move my legs first. So I sat there and focused... it was like the scene in "Kill Bill" where she says to herself, "wiggle your big toe.... wiggle your big toe..." I did just that... over and over and over again... I would feel a slight movement but nothing they could see. So the waiting continued.

The moment I first saw him would flash in my mind over and over again as I faded in and out of drugged sleep... when I was awake I would cry happy and sad tears at the same time...

I remember feeling jealous and slightly angry that my husband whom I love so much was up there in the nursery with our precious gift. I shouldn't of felt that way... David was safe, he was healthy, he was with his daddy... but I wanted to be the first one to hold him... to kiss his head...

Any way...

I guess I've been feeling like I've been losing my mind over this... the thoughts and memories and feelings have kept me awake at night, tossing and turning. The voice in my head reminding me that his health is what was most important and I know that... I understand that... but I still miss that moment I never got to have.

I'm so very bonded with my little boy, but I wonder, what if I had had that moment, would we be even closer? I was so afraid he wouldn't know me by the time I got out of recovery... what a silly thought... that the baby who knew me from the very first moment of life wouldn't know me after only 3-4 hours of being away from me...

I guess I am silly... but I can't shake these feelings... and I wonder, will there be hope for that moment with my next child? Or will that hole, that blank spot, get bigger?

On that note, I'm going to go snuggle with my little love muffin, hold him close, breathe him in... the way we like to be.

~Krista

Pants on the Head...

As most of you know, Jeffry has been known to put random objects on David's head.
Not long after the American Idol try outs, he started putting David's pants on his head during diaper or pj changes. He would then sing to him, "Pants on the head, pants on the head, looking like a CUTIE with the pants on the head".

I finally got pictures of one of these "Pants on the head" moments. :)