...it's been awhile...
it's been too much of "awhile" if you ask me...
Where to begin?
What to say?
David turned 9 months on the 17th... with every month my heart aches just a little more... knowing that that first year is getting closer. I'm happy for it to come and yet so sad to see it approaching. I'm not ready for him to be a year old. I have mini anxiety attacks just thinking about it. I know it's silly to think after he hits 1 year he won't be my baby any more... that he won't need "mommy" because he will still want mommy and still want to cuddle... but I'm so afraid of losing my cuddle bear. I need to shake this off though... its just silly thinking.
We had our walk through today. My husband went with out me... I sadly had to stay home because of an illness that has kept me down and out for almost a week. I haven't had a temperature like that since I was a little kid. 101.8 was the highest it got... I couldn't believe it. I never get a fever... NEVER... so I was just shocked... and horrified with how I felt. I'm just glad my son seems to be doing fine and not getting whatever it was I had. I'm finally getting back to myself after 5 days and 7 pounds gone... at least it was one way of losing pregnancy weight. HA.
So about the house. We close on Friday... I can't wait to have all this done so we can really start making it our own. I feel like I'm hovering... or floating in an in between place waiting for this to go to the next step. I hate waiting... I'm a now kind of person... when I get an urge to do something... paint, sing, play an instrument, cook, clean, laugh... I just do it right there and then... and if I can't... I go a little crazy inside waiting.. I hate waiting...
life lesson I guess.... patience.... I don't know if I'll ever really learn patience... at least, not the kind I need for such things steps in life... I have patience for my son... I have patience for the arts... but life... when something exciting is building up... I want that climax to happen... that moment where your heart is ready to burst with pure joy and happiness... where everything falls into place and you know its all good. And I wish for it to ALWAYS stay GOOD!
... wishful thinking I know, but I like to be that way.
(Patience... Patience Krista... come Friday... your little family has a place to call your own.... your home.)
2 comments:
I went through the not wanting my baby to grow up thing with Evelyn. I still do but I had to come to grips that I can't change it and each stage is beautiful and fun :) Also my faith that I will be with her forever and she will always be my daughter :)
HAPPY NEW HOUSE TODAY AND ALWAYS. May it always be a happy house, a safe house, a loving house, a house for dancing in and knitting in -- a house of good smells from the kitchen and giggles from the nursary.
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